Tamtam!

I don’t even know what a tam tam is.  Someone tried to send me a virus called tam tam.  I thought it was hilarious.
So yesterday, was by far, the day I should have quit McDonalds.

An old man, who is an electrician, comes into McDonalds for coffee.  He knew my grandfather really well.  He’s made me cry a couple of times, showing me pictures and telling me stories.  I guess I should be over this by now, but I really can’t.  I just don’t think it was their time to go.

Anyways, he came in yesterday, and he brought some other people with him.  They all knew my grandpa too!  I was really excited, because honestly, I don’t know much about my grandparents.  I guess they weren’t in my moms good books most of the time, so she never really told me much about them.  Anyways, we’re talking along, and Aaron was supposed to be helping them on counter.  But, they weren’t ordering, they were talking to me.

He effing turns around and says “Stop talking and let them order”  and gave me this glare.

I almost fucking lost it!  This is my grandpa, the person I never really go to connect with.  And he’s fucking trying to tell me to stop listening about my grandpa and let them get their coffee.

I’m fucking sick of that store.  No, I’m actually fucking sick of the retards  have to work with.  I’m sick of always having to fix their mistakes, I’m sick of them telling the customers its my fault things are taking so long when they’re actually waiting on fries.  I’m sick of having to tell them what to do, I’m sick of having to do jobs they don’t want to do because they don’t like them.  I’m just fucking sick of it.

Further more, Aaron doesn’t like to do fajitas or burritos, so I always get stuck doing it.  He always runs to lobby whenever a customer comes in, so I have to get it, then wash my hands, make food, then get the whole thing together.  If you don’t want to fucking help people, go get another job.

Then, I get home, and try to relax, and start on a image that I’ve been meaning to do for a long time.  5 times in a row, the fucking program quit right in the middle of saving.  I restart my computer, and then suddenly the pen tool doesn’t work.  I say, fine, I’ll start making stuff for my website.  I try to do little pixel buttons, but the brush tool keeps randomly switching sizes on me, so I can’t make the pixel (which is going to be effing cute by the time I’m done with it!).  So I think, I guess this version of Photoshop is bunk, I’m going to have to un-install and get CS2 or something.  Well, in the middle of uninstall, my computer turns off, my father had needed to see what a certain breaker does.  FINE.  I jump onto mininova and start looking for CS2.  I can’t really decide which one I need, because some are just cracks, and some are the programs.  Which file size is too big and which one is too small?  I have no clue, so I just stop, and read my HP book.

And in all of this, I was a huge asshole to Phil, and we pretty much didn’t talk all day long, which is unusual, because we usually text message during the day, because I’m a needy sonofabitch.  I tried to apologize, but I don’t think that worked very well.

And then, to top it all off, I get a call from the RBC.  Something is funny with my account.  I have to go there this morning to find out what it is.  Perfect!  I can switch my accounts around, and stuff like that.  Oh no, they just wondered why I was spending 1.00 at McD’s with my debit card alot.  WELL FUCK!  I WORK THERE, AND I HATE CARRYING CASH WITH ME.  I say this, and they’re like “Oh, we thought it could have been fradulent spending.”  Yeah, ok.  So I ask if I can switch my account from Leo Young Saver to a full time university account.

“No, I have things to do.”
“Well, can I book an appointment for later this morning?”
“I don’t book things, talk to the receptionist”

I go there, and she’s no-where to be found.  Someone from customer service comes over and asks if I need help.  I tell her I need to book an appointment to see a financial advisor.  She too doesn’t know how to book appointments.

Fuck, fine, thank you RBC for wasting my morning, when I could have been sleeping, or reading, or doing something productive!

And now everyone around me is walking on egg-shells, because I’ll probably explode, unless by some random miracle, someone manages to cheer me up at work today.  Likely?  I think not.  Unless Heather and me go out back while she smokes.  I do love the smell of ciggarette smoke, for some unknown reason.

Anyways, rant complete.

Welcome home Megan!

ITS NOT GOOD ENOUGH

So, I congradulate and appologize to everyone who had to read that last post. Has this blog sucomed to emo posts?  If it has, I shall password protect them just incase you don’t want to deal with my crap.  And since Megans away, Maureen, I congradulate you on not commenting and further feeding my need for sympathy.

I don’t know if that last paragraph even made sense, but we’ll just pretend it did.

So I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night.  Why?  A re-occuring (hyphen-usage?) dream that kept me from my eternal slumbers.  I was at work, always making the same order: 2 Bacon Cheeseburgers and  a Junior Chicken.  I would put it on the hot landing platform, just to have Heather yell at me, saying it wasn’t good enough.  The floor then gave out and I fell into the same kitchen, having the same order to make.

This went on every freaking hour, and every hour I woke up and tried to shake it off.  No such luck however, and I got no sleep.  Finally, when I did get some sleep around 7, I slept in till 11.  As Megan knows, this is when my shift is supposed to start.  So, I ignore my pounding headache, my aching body, and the fact that I seem to have bled on myself, and ran to a phone to call Maryanne.

Best thing about Maryanne, she is so forgiving.  She didn’t care that I was late, and let me kind of gather myself when I got there, because she could tell I was a little flustered.  I managed to rid my headache after 3 hours with 2 medium cups of coffee, but the body kept aching all day long.  It kind of went away at 4, but then came back at 5.  Bleh.

In other news, I may re-kindle my idea of getting my www.geekagogo.com started.  I’ve been thinking about it, and just as long as I can hash out my layout and all other crap by the time school is in, I should be able to maintain it.  I think all I would have on it is a blog, some informations about me, and some pictures, and maybe stuff I’ve done.

Slight problem though, when I got super depressed in the last semester over my project, I deleted everything I had wanted to keep.  Its all gone now, and I don’t know if I want to try and make some more stuff to make me look all jazzy cool on the internet.  I do still have some time to work on stuff, who knows.  Anyways, I think I’ll just draw out what I want the site to look like, and then hope I can pull it off.  I haven’t done that kind of stuff since……since last august.

Oh, and today, the toilet upstairs cracked and leaked all over.  Great, that leaves available toilets to use: 1.  In Heathers bathroom, and thats not akward.  I’ve just decided to hold it all in till we get the new toilet installed.  Which is happening right now, so it should be ok.  I think.

Anyways, I think I’m going to go get some more music onto mu iPod.  I had completely forgotten that I had the new Linkin Park album on my compy.  I also tried finding my Three Days Grace CD, but I think I smashed it out of rage.  That seems to ring a bell.  Anyways, I downloaded their discography instead, so that should be good!

Anyways, bye!

:(

I cried this morning, for like 10 minutes, uncontrolably.

I’m not sure what has been wrong this past week, but something is really depressing me, and it came to a climax today.  Even worse, I haven’t gone to work yet, which may also spark another weeping episode (did the last time I tried to quit).  Maybe its the money issue?  The whole I need 500$ worth of books VS the 200$?  Maybe its watching Phil and his brother move into their new house?  Maybe I’m just so sick and tired of my job?

The books thing is managable.  I mean, I probably don’t need some of those books anyways, so I don’t think it’ll cost 500.  My job…well yeah, it sucks.  I wish I didn’t have my job.  But, it pays me the most right now, and its the only thing that will keep me going through school.  I think my overwhelming urge to move out of this house is what is getting me.

I don’t know why, but eveyone knows (Well maybe just Megan) that I like to be independant.  I hate relying on other people.  I just wish I could be on my own, doing my own thing, not having to live by someones rules, or be all quiet when I come in late, make sure I don’t flush the toilet when they’re asleep, keep the bathroom curtain free of soap and always opened, etc etc.  It just drives me nuts, and I just wish I could be independant and on my own.

Of course I can’t move out right now, as I have no furniture, not a good enough job, too many expenses to pay off, and too many commitments that I would need to drop.  Maybe thats what it is, knowing that me wanting to move out is so out of my reach right now.

But I have to go to work.